Friendship with the Holy Spirit - An invitation into deeper intimacy

Wendy Mann
Aug 31
6 min read

Updated: Sep 16

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I want to talk about the Holy Spirit—about the incredible gift He is to us, and how we can increasingly build friendship with Him. But first, let me share some of my story.

I used to be really scared of the Holy Spirit.

I grew up in a Baptist church where there was very rarely any mention of the Holy Spirit and no expectation that we could experience Him being present with us in our meetings. When I visited other churches as a young person and saw the Holy Spirit moving, I was totally freaked out because I didn’t understand what was happening. People were shaking and crying, and they looked like they’d lost control of their bodies—it made me feel very uncomfortable.

When I moved to Bedford, I wanted more of God—because the church I’d been part of didn’t really have much life—but I didn’t want too much. I used to put conditions on the Holy Spirit and how He could meet with me: “I’m okay if you do this, but please don’t ever make me do that!”

The breakthrough moment for me came when I did an Alpha course at the King’s Arms. I learnt for the first time who the Holy Spirit is—that He’s a gift from the Father, sent to help us follow Jesus. I was also given the opportunity to be prayed for, to be filled with the Holy Spirit for the first time.

I was very nervous as I responded, but as I stood and held out my hands, I felt such an incredible peace come over me and a comforting warmth fill my body. I remember crying because I was just so overwhelmed that I could actually feel God—that He was meeting with me and revealing His love to me through His tangible presence.

Since that time, I have met with the Holy Spirit in many different ways. I’ve wept deeply and laughed loudly. I’ve felt power in my body that’s caused me to shake, and a profound peace and holiness that’s brought me to my knees. I love the Holy Spirit. I love His manifest presence, and I long for so much more of Him.

In John 14:15, Jesus promises the Holy Spirit to His followers. He starts to talk to them about going away and preparing a place for them in His Father’s house. The disciples don’t fully understand what Jesus is talking about and, understandably, start to panic about not knowing where He’s going. They’ve been with Him non-stop for three years, but now they’re confused and scared. Jesus tells them that He’s not going to leave them alone:

“If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth.” (v15–17)

Later, in John 16:7, Jesus tells His followers that it’s actually better for them that He goes away so that the promised Holy Spirit can be poured out. It was better for them that He went away, so they could receive the precious Holy Spirit—God’s manifest presence on the earth, all around us and living in us.

Do you think about the Holy Spirit as a gift from the Father? Do you regard Him so highly—that it was better for Jesus to go, so that the Holy Spirit could come? We must grow in love for and friendship with the Holy Spirit. But how do we do that? Let me share a few suggestions from my own experience that have helped me on the journey.

1) Get to know the Holy Spirit through Scripture

The best place to start when it comes to building friendship with the Holy Spirit is to learn more about who He is through Scripture. There are so many amazing truths about the Holy Spirit in the Bible. I’m sure you’re aware of many of them, but let me remind you of some here:

John 7:37–39 – Rivers of living water
John 14:15–18 – Advocate / Helper / Comforter
- Be with us forever
- Spirit of truth
- Lives in us
John 14:25–26 – Teaches us, reminds us of truth/promises
John 15:26 – Testifies about Jesus
Acts 1:8 – Gives us power
Romans 8:15–16 – Spirit of adoption; connects us to the Father and reveals our identity as sons and daughters
1 Corinthians 12:7–11 – Gives gifts
Galatians 5:22 – Bears fruit in us
Romans 5:5 – Pours God’s love into our hearts

Wow! So many rich and life-changing truths about the Holy Spirit that we can sit with and meditate on. What a gift He is to us.

2) Spend time with the Holy Spirit

The second thing we can do to grow in friendship with the Holy Spirit is to spend time with Him.

Truth: If I wanted to build friendship with you, I would have to spend time with you. Reading a book about you would give me some helpful information, but it wouldn’t make you my friend. That would take quality time and intentionality—and the same is true when it comes to the Holy Spirit.

We can learn many amazing things about the Holy Spirit from Scripture, but if we really want to build friendship with Him and grow in intimacy with Him, we have to spend time with Him. We have to be intentional about carving out quality time where we are learning to be in His presence, listen to His voice, and get to know His heart.

This could look like many different things, but here are a few examples:

Be still with the Holy Spirit and invite Him to fill you afresh. This will help you get used to recognising His manifest presence.
Invite the Holy Spirit to speak to you through Scripture, pictures, or dreams.
Ask the Holy Spirit what He thinks or feels—about a specific situation, about you, or about your day.

Building friendship with the Holy Spirit takes time and intentionality. A key part of the journey is making space to be with Him and asking Him to meet with you and speak to you.

3) Grow in obedience to the Holy Spirit

Another key thing we can do as we learn to become friends with the Holy Spirit is to live lives of obedience—learning to recognise when the Holy Spirit is getting our attention, and then responding to what He says.

We can get to know the Holy Spirit through reading Scripture and prioritising time with Him, but being obedient to Him is the thing that really deepens intimacy. When we’re obedient to what we feel the Holy Spirit is asking us to do—or not do—that’s when we really get to know His nature. That’s when we see Him provide, or heal, or lead us into freedom, or build resilience in us.

When we respond to what we feel the Holy Spirit is saying, we develop deeper trust in our relationship with Him. And deeper trust leads to deeper intimacy and friendship.

The Holy Spirit asks us to be obedient in many different areas of our lives. Here are just a few examples:

Money – Giving what He asks us to give. Pursuing radical generosity.
The heart journey – Responding when He prompts us to apologise, confess, repent, deal with grief and pain, serve in the secret place, surrender.
Calling and gifting – Being obedient in taking risks. Sometimes saying yes to things we don’t want to do, and no to things we do.

As we consistently live lives of obedience to the Holy Spirit, we build up history with Him—we get to know His nature and experience His faithfulness, kindness, power, provision, and wisdom. The more we get to know Him, the more we grow in intimacy and build deep friendship with Him. In turn, that friendship leads to more wholehearted surrender and obedience.

The Holy Spirit is a precious gift from the Father. He’s the presence of God on the earth—who will never leave us, who lives inside us, and who wants to flow through us.

How are you doing at building friendship with Him?

Do you love His presence?

Do you prioritise time with Him and long to live a life of obedience to Him?

There’s so much more of His nearness for us to enjoy. Let’s stir our hearts and our hunger for all that He has for us.

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Wendy Mann Equip | www.wendymannequip.com

Building Family, Prioritising God's Presence, Extending God’s Kingdom